"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
You Jokes
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
I see what you did there.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
Alex, you will never believe this!!!!!!!!!! Please respond as quick as possible! To my love, Alex!
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
