You jokes
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.