Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
You Jokes
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
"Alex, hi, you here!?"
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers? The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
Alya, do you have Discord?
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
