To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
You Jokes
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
I love you, Tina!
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
To Drew the Devil,
We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.
Angry Alex
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.
Thanks for learning and getting advice.
Also, don't be such a horny one!
Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?
Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!
Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
