You jokes
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.