You jokes
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."