You jokes

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?

Beauty!

"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"

What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.

With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?

Gay.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Yo, Buster, I hope I am not busting your bubble.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.