You jokes

If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)

Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.

Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

What do you call a group of Emos?

Suicide squad.

Did you hear about the Chinese student?

Me neither.

What do you call a gay barbecue?

LGTBBQ.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

What do you call six gay men in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!