You Jokes

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

Spare.

You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.

WOULD YOU RATHER:

Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?

or

Drink a gallon of sperm?

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?

Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?

Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?

Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

Sultan Khan was a courtier in Akbar's court. He wanted to make his son the royal treasurer, but his cunning plans always failed.

Sultan Khan thought that Birbal was the cause of his son's misfortune, so he looked for an opportunity to get rid of Birbal. One day, Birbal was late to the emperor's court. Seeing this, Sultan Khan said, "Your Majesty, don't you think that Birbal is taking advantage of his position because he has been late these days?"

"This must be another plan to trap Birbal," said Akbar. So he decided to wait and see what Birbal would do. Akbar sat next to Suman Khan and said, "Yes, he must be punished."

Suman Khan was amazed to see his plan work this time. "From now, you should not agree to anything he says today," Akbar replied, "Agreed."

Soon, Birbal came to court. "Please spare me for being late. My wife was unwell." Akbar immediately said, "No."

Birbal was surprised. He tried again by saying, "But that's the truth. Please believe me." Again, Akbar replied, "No."

"There must be something going on," thought Birbal to himself. Then he asked, "Can we discuss important matters today?" Akbar immediately replied, "No, we will not."

"Then may I go home?" asked Birbal. Akbar said, "No, you will stay here this evening," said Akbar, enjoying himself. Birbal understood what was happening.

"Oh, so this is my game. The emperor is saying no to all my questions." He looked around and saw Suman Khan smiling, seeing him in trouble. "This must be his idea. Let me teach him a lesson."

The clever Birbal thought to Akbar, "Very well," he said. "But I have a last request. Will you please listen to me?" Akbar saw what Birbal had done.

He was very pleased and called loudly, "No, I will not listen to you." That is all Birbal said before returning to his seat. Suman Khan was stunned and angry, and Birbal had outwitted him, so he could not make his son the treasurer.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?

In baseball, you know where home is.

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?

What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.

What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.