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Orphan: Let's play baseball!

Girl: No, you can't.

Orphan: Why?

Girl: Because you can't find home.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

What did the blender say to the orange juice?

"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."

You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?

Me: I don't know.

You: Are you sure?

Me: I don't know.

You: Okay.

If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

Just to ask the other guy.

Talk about a male supremacist religion.

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.