Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
You Jokes
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
