What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
You Jokes
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" đ
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
You're gay if you see this.
I rang my boss and said, "Iâm really sick. I wonât be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, Iâm in bed with my sister!"
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
Child: Hello, I canât find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, whatâs going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, âGuess this isnât your day, is it?â
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they canât even.
