You jokes
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)