Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
You Jokes
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
