New You Jokes - Page 270 - Worst Jokes Ever

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.

JK, dark humor.

How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?

Bubble 07.

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?

Are you ready, kids?🤣

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."