You jokes

What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Chicken.

Chicken who?

Are you chicken me????!!!!

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!

What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

Therapist: So what brought you here today?

Wife: He's too literal.

Therapist: And you, sir?

Husband: My truck.

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

What's the difference between you and your sister?

Your dad.

How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!