You Jokes

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?

A speech impediment.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.

What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.

What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

What do you call a black abortion clinic?

Crime Stoppers.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?

A rapscallion without the rap.

Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

Do you love God?

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."