You jokes
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.