You jokes
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Hey, are you bored? Kick an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh