You jokes

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)

Why can you hit an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

If you like this post, you will die!!!! Don’t do it 👿😅😎

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.

Who sucked on my cock?

Answer: You.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.