You Jokes

I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A baboom.

Sans: What do you have there?

Frisk: A KNIFE!

Sans: NOO!!!

Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?

They have no one to call "daddy."

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.

How do you blindfold an Asian?

You use dental floss.

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

Why can't orphans go on game shows?

You need a family member.

What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?

LGBBQ

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.