You jokes
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Hey, are you bored? Kick an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!