You jokes

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?

“Will you raise me?”

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3