You jokes
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Your hairline went so back, you had to cry to your mama!
I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.
Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.