You jokes
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
When we take a family photo, you are the background.