You Jokes

What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?

Panera Hair.

What do you call an injured Panera Bread?

Panera Bled.

What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?

Panera Fade.

What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?

A Panera grade.

What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.

Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?

Brother: Sure.

Me: Turn off the light.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

What do you call an orphan with no relatives?

An orphan with no relatives.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.