You jokes
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?