You jokes
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.