You jokes
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"