You jokes
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What do you call fallen water? A waterfall.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Question: What do you call 8 apples?
Answer: The iPhone 8.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"