You jokes
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.