You jokes
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
You want to hear a joke? You......
What's brown and sticky?
What did you think! A stick......
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
You've got a body inside you--it's called your body bones.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"