You jokes
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"