New You Jokes - Page 671 - Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?

He got a pat on the head.

What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?

Zeedonk.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!

What's the difference between a fish and a car?

You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3

We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?

Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.

There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

"I want to be a hunter."

"Why?" the other babies ask.

"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

What do you call a man with no legs?

Neil (kneel)

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

What do you call a fat Chinese man?

A double chinkey.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"