Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
You Jokes
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
Boy, you gay?
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."