What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
You Jokes
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
I ass big ass you :-)
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.