You jokes
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
You gay.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.