You jokes

Add joke

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

  • 7

    • My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

    You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

    Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

    It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

    Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

    You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!

    My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

    My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

    My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."

    My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

    One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

    I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

    Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

    Yeah, they're pretty holey.

    Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

    Yeah, they're pretty holey.