You Jokes

Cannibal

Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?

Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?

Think about it, lol. Haha.

Decapitation

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

Cake

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"

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  • Dad

    What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

    "There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

    Orphan

    What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

    If you throw them, they both will never come back.

    Pedophile

    Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

    Parent

    If you have sex and your African parents find out,

    “You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

    Orphan

    If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Orphan

    Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?

    They don’t know what home is.

    Orphan

    If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Insult

    Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.

    Trashy pig woman: Why?

    Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

    Insult

    Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

    Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

    Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

    Cellphone

    You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.

    Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!