You jokes
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
I love you and I love you too. I love ❤️.
What do you call a magic car?
A flying carpet.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
Knock knock!
Who is it?
Knock.
Knock who?
Knock you.