You Jokes

Easter

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

Toilet Paper

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

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  • Time

    What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.

    Time

    What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?

    Time to get in trouble!

    Time

    What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

    Time to get outside!

    Priest

    What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

    You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

    Tourist

    How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

    Simple. All in the ashtray.

    Kid

    You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.

    Child

    What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?

    Not Sally.

    Roast

    1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

    2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

    3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

    4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

    If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

    Are these good?

    Hello

    When did “yo” mean Hello?

    They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

    Poo

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Ididap.

    Ididap who?

    That's the joke, you did a poo!