My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
Why does Jesus never vacation on earth?, because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick and their still talking about it
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? -- You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk? -- In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
