Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.
Year Jokes
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
