Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
--> I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
--> I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
--> and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
-->and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
did you hear about the light bulb party--- yeah it was pretty lit!
Did you hear about the kidnapping- Yeah he woke up
"Don't worry! Life goes on" "Yeah that's what's had me worried"
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
my sister is pregnant i’m a be a dad
yeah u can call me daddy son
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
one day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed " YoUr AdOpTeD!" he said "yeah I know my REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
"did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah it was lit"
My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
