Yeah jokes

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.