A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.
