Writing jokes

A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

I can't handle these puns...

But I can HAND you some puns!

Budum tiss!

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.