Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: đ. My depression: remeber that one tim...... Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we..... Me: nope. My deprssion: *says really fast*:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: đłđśđ. My depression: đ dont worry I'll always be here for you.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don Ět worry there will be a third person in a little while.
Little johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off. *What was that dad?" Asked lil johnny. "oh just a bug." Said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face he then says. "That bug sure had a big dick didn't he?"
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her drivers test. Mom: Okay, any questions? Sara: Yes. I actally don't know what "yield " means Mom:Don't worry Hon. No one does.
God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) Iâll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: donât worry your beard off! (Pats his back) Iâll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...Iâm still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) donât touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine itâll stay. Weâll just call it....puberty
Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don't worry, he's okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
Nurse: Don't worry i'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yea, i always abort them. Parent:... Parent: Your hired
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the BARS
you don't have to worry about running while boys are around even i can't see anything there.
If an emo counts down don't worry they probably have only one bullet.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, âDonât worry, your parents wonât say anything.â
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
A woman in labour suddenly shouted "Shouldn't!, "Wouldn't", "Couldn't, Didn't, Can't"
"Don't worry", said the doc. "Those are just contractions"
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers, the more there are, the less there are.
I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)
One day a man was fixing a car, an he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like "dude, this can't be healthy." But he said "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Donât worry if you have a stroke
Youâll be all right
I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said "dont worry babe, ill callculater."
A guy is sitting at a bar, when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!â
