π£: "Stop making suicide jokes! "
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon"
A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids. I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a Β£20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the Β£20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me Β£20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other Β£20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What's the one upside to being an orphan? You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
I heard there was a kidnapping
Don't worry he woke up
In the back of a van
It was his father's
Friend who was a priest
He was just bringing him to church
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor board don't worry he was just going through a stage
If you were to ask me, 'What is the easiest job in the world?', it would be an Australian psychiatrist. "G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!".
My girlfriend went to Tokyo and she died in the tsunami. Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean".
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Yesterday i saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no so i asked him if he needed help. And he said yes so i let him in my car and said dont worry youβll be home with you parents soon. He said my parents died. I said i know.
I have had an obsession with soap. Donβt worry, I am all clean now!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So one day I was walking home from school with my best friend sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that bob the class rep got her pregnant a eight months ago and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said βsally itβll be ok Iβm sure sheβll be happy to get a grandsonβ βyeah thanks suzyβ she said to me then went into her house. The next few weeks she didnβt show up to school so I was like oh she must be in trouble with her mom Iβll go check on her So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands βoh hello. Is that Sallyβs son!! Can I see sally?β Her mom says sure and I go inside but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone βhere lies sally 2004-2020β so I ask her mom in tears βoh did she not make it through the birth?β And her mom replied βyou could say that..β
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
why did the koala climb the tree?
to get to the other branch :)
He made it don't worry
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don Μt worry there will be a third person in a little while.
