World jokes
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?
France: Want a baguette?
USSR: Help!
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”