World War II jokes
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What do you call a blind German?
A nat-zee.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
The Nazis.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!