Workout jokes
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
No pine, no gain!
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”