Wordplay Jokes

Teacher

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Whore

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

Friend

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

Cucumber

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Kid

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Eminem

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

Cheese

I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.

Man

A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.

Nazi

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

Mama

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

Orphan

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."