Women jokes
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why is Ireland so gay?
Because the Brits stole all their women.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.