Women Jokes

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

I like my couches like my I like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.

Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left?" Because women dont have rights.

I like my women like I like my coffee

Dark,Rich, and Imported

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women’s rights book in the fiction section

A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What's got you down" The man says "I just found out my Niece is gay." The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks "What's got you down now?" The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women?" The man says "My wife does."