Women jokes
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
Why are women like parking spots?
Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
Wanna hear a joke? Women have no rights!
There are women complaining about being r@ped.
JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.