Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.
Women are like the twin towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose
What do lovely men and tampons have in common both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
I like my vegetables like I like my women Forgotten at the bottom of my freezer
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing why women make you angry for nothing
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?” The bartender says, “No, only women.” The man then leaves.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men? because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can
Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What do women and peanut butter haven in common? They're both easy to spread
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
No one Beyoncé said to the left to the left she really meant women have no rights
There was a doctors room filled with 20 women 4 kids 15 men and 1dog However there were forty foreheads. How is this possible.(they will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads)
Because there are 40 foreheads not 44 heads
A man and a women are watching clouds together. The man says, “hey that one looks like a giraffe!”. The women agrees and says, “that one looks like a elephant!”. The man sits up and says, “ that one looks like a mushroom.”
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.
