Women jokes
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Men
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).