Women jokes

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

It was women driving the planes for 9/11.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.