Women jokes
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Men
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.