My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
