I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
I like my women how I like my scotch 11 years old and mixed with Coke
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
big booty latinas.
