Women jokes
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.