Women

Women Jokes

Woman

Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?

A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.

Abortion

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

Blind man

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

Pocket

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

Job

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

Woman

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

Parachute

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Atm

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

Woman

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Feminist

There is a feminist group in my town.

It is called Gal-Qaeda.

(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

Scientist

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

House

What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.

Period

Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?

IT JUST DOES!!!!

Rapist

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

Abortion

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

Microwave

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.