Women jokes
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!