Women jokes
I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Women.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"